Wednesday, February 10, 2010

The New Virginity

"The New Virginity" is what VH1 called the abstinence stance in their show with the same name this month. It is the sexual revolution in reversal. Celebrities such as the Jonas Brothers, Jordin Sparks, Miley Cyrus, Demi LaVado and Selena Gomez are all endorsing not following the crowd and saving sex for marriage. They proudly wear purity rings on their wedding finger as a visual reminder of the decision they have made.

Marketing promoters have discovered that there is plenty of money to be made in this virginity marketplace and every one wants a piece of it; from thongs made for you with wording such as "Want some? You can't have it" to scanty cami's with similar wording. Stores that typically go for an adult market have found a whole new gold mine in your culture. There is even an Ipod app with a virginity pledge!

So, is this new awareness a positive thing for your culture? I say "yes" and "no". Yes, there is much talk about saving yourself for your future spouse, but are teens and celebrities really doing that?

Many celebrities as they grow up discard their clean images and a sex-filled image fills it place as noted by celebrities such as Britney Spears or Jessica Simpson. These double messages are very confusing as we try to figure out this thing called love. Why wasn't waiting the way to go any more?

And what about all of those abstinence pledges. Unfortunately for many, pledges don’t work. A recent study has shown that in the majority of the cases, teen virginity pledges are broken, especially when made in large groups such as conferences and when the pressure really pours on in the college years. The reason: they are not made from your heart. It is something placed on you by your youth pastor, parents or even Christian friends.

What works is a close relationship with Jesus. True love is a person; his name is Jesus. Whether you are sexually active or not, every one looks for true love. That true love is Jesus Christ. He is enough to fill what all of us are looking for!

Do you have the desire to spend the rest of your life before marriage (if you get married :) pure? If so, how can you do it? There is a lot of pressure out there and it really does seem like every one is doing it.

You need real reasons to say "no". When hormones are flying, the party meter is running and accountability is low because you are in the wrong place at the wrong time, the your mind doesn't think of things such as pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases and the future. What can motivate wise decisions is a Person; the One who loves you unconditionally, perfectly and is NEVER FAILING. There is no one on the earth that can promise that...not even Edward Cullen.

What can you do? Get some time with your parent, your pastor or small group leader and ask real life questions and get answers that are not peer-driven. Continue the process of making the right decisions with loving and caring adults helping to lead the way with love your motivation.

Got some questions? Post a comment by clicking on comments below or shoot me an email at You can also find me on facebook at Lynn Martin Cowell. I'd love to hear what you have to say!

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