Friday, August 29, 2008

Who? Me?

I had a friend ask me a question last night...why do people always blame others? It is really causing problems in my family! Good question....

I started thinking about that this morning...why do I blame shift? It is a perpetual temptation for me, I admit. I HATE blowing it; let alone admitting I have done it. Last week, I had over 40 people in my house three days in a row. Fun, but crazy! My mind was constantly in a whirlwind. In the middle of day 2, I headed out the door and decided to take my husband's new car. I approached a stop sign, with my head definately several miles down the road. The Altima in front of me stopped and then began a right turn. I, not driving defensively, assumed she did indeed turn. So I looked left - clear - and then began to turn right. Low and behold - she didn't turn. So - again let me state - in my husband's new car that he has waited for over two years to buy - I HIT HER! Oh my gosh! Immediately, my mind said "It's not my fault. She pulled out - she should have turned". Fortunately, it was a small bump and no damage was done. But OF COURSE when it came time to retell the story to my husband, it was her fault.

So, why do I do it? Why do I blame others instead of just saying, "Greg, I blew it. I was busy thinking of all of the stuff I had to do today and instead of rechecking, I pulled out and hit her". I can guarantee you that is not how I told the story to my husband.

Reason #1) Fear

If the accident wasn't my fault, you can't get mad at me right? I have asked my children before, "Why don't you just tell me the truth when you mess up? I won't get so mad at you if you just tell me the truth?" Because you get mad at us is their answer....sounds very familiar. I guess you would call that learned behavior. The Bible calls it fear of man. Peter gives us a pretty big hint on how to handle this situation in our life in Acts 5:29 "We ought to obey God rather than men." When we fear the reaction of people more than we fear the reaction of God - we end up sinning. Rather to be honest with people and call it like it is than to deceive and disobey God.

Reason #2) Pride every other person on the planet, I hate to mess up and admit it because I hate to mess up and admit it! If I want to figure out what God thinks of this issue in my life, all I have to do is read Proverbs. Every other verse deals with this really gross sin. Jesus himself tells us how to defeat this one, "Whoever humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 18:4.

Reason #3) Laziness

I know you are probably thinking...what? That doesn't have anything to do with blame shifting. Well, it does for me. See, if I admit that I forgot to put chlorine in the pool and it turned green, than that means I am responsible to get it back to blue again....but, if the temperatures just got too high and there seemed to be an inbalance in the pool chemicals, then Greg will probably fix it. See? Yep...this is another struggle for me and one I would just soon not admit. I sometimes pile so much on my plate and then there is that very real problem with procrastination that I have to deal so sometimes blame shifting seems to be a very easy solution (again - laziness even comes out when I blame shift. UGH!!!)

So once again, I head back to the cross. It sure is a good thing He is so full of grace. I know that looking at this again today has reminded me to humble myself, tell it like it is and deal with it. Life will be more peaceful and my Love will look down on me and smile at my reflection of Him.

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